My big family really enjoyed white elephant gift exchanges. That's because my big family outgrew individual gift exchanges. It's ironic, because my big family also had an unspoken law that you just don't mention certain things. As a borderline autistic person, I could never tell what you were supposed to refrain from mentioning. I could never figure out what we were talking about when we weren't talking clearly. I craved just being open about everything so that we could clarify things. But I was in forever getting in trouble for saying the wrong thing. I'm in my '50s now and wondering, who's determining what is the wrong thing? To me. It's the right thing. And when? I ask outsiders for their advice, they always agree that these things should be openly spoken about. And clarified. I worked hard too create forums where my family could openly discuss things. I always got in trouble for it. Or ghosted for it. And sometimes, I got called abusive for saying the wrong thing. We have a a herd of elephants and our family. There's always an elephant in the room that you're not supposed to mention. Of course, when the object of that elephant is not in the room, then we can talk about it. And then of course, we talked to Hi heaven about it. But that person can't be there to hear all that. And when I learn the completely expected and understandable and obvious reality lies within all of my other family members, I wonder all the more why we are not talking about this with the person who it applies to. And several times, when I said the elephant in the presence of the object of the elephant, and of course got accused of being abusive, the other family members who freely said those things in that person's absence thought suddenly also considered me abusive and promised the object of the elephant that that elephant didn't exist. Amy is just a toxic person. So now, white elephant gift exchanges r&m of my elephant in the room family. In a white elephant gift exchange, you don't buy the gift for any particular person. You don't think about the person. You think about yourself and how that gift will be presentable among the other gifts. You think about yourself and wonder if you are spending more money than you will receive because the gift you get randomly in the gift exchange has nothing to do with you at all or your interest and therefore is a waste of anybody's money. Amy, write this book.